HOLY FUCKING SHIT I haven't updated this thing in the longest fucking time!  Shit...It's been about a year now since my lost entry.  Just figured I'd post a little something to let everyone out there in xanga land that yes, I am still alive and well.  Well...not mentally anyways.  Kerri and myself are doing absolutely wonderful, no complaints on my behalf anyways.  Work is, well...work.  Can't really say too much about it.  It's Christmas at KB Toys, so it's only gonna be so good.  Visited my brother, sister-in-law and neice in Chicago this past weekend, which was very nice.  It's always nice to see my little Jade Anastacia Rodriguez...And yes, for those of you who care the name Jade came from Jade Puget...guitar player for A Fire Inside.  And I also have a little nephew on the way as well...little Vincent (enter middle name here) Rodriguez.  He should be coming out of the woumb any day now actually.  Went to the Loose Ass Vagina website the other night, damn that shit brings back memories.  And to Pittman, yes I am still coming to the wedding.  Drop me an email so I can give you my cell number, I'm not gonna post it on here or anything.  And tell that douche bag Anthony I said wassup if you talk to him still.  Anyways mother fuckers, I'll be ending this now, but not without a quote...

"So alone, sometimes the water feels so real.  As I walk through it it fills my lungs, MY GOD I'M DROWNING!"~AFI

Dedicated....

A Fire Inside - Morningstar

I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing through the melting walls.
Who will be the first to begin their fall?
Or will we become one?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent
and in the morning there is nothing left but what's inside of me.

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

And I don't want to die tonight; Will you believe in me?
And I don't want to fall into the light.

Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?
I don't want to die tonight.

Will you believe in me tonight.

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?

Why do I have the feeling that something happened today that she's not telling me?  Like something was said or done to her and it got her upset.  But she won't tell me, she insists that nothing is wrong besides the usual.  I want to believe her, but in my heart I don't.  I can tell just by her tone when something is wrong, and yet she won't tell me.  Was it something I did?  Was it something I said?  Was something done or said while she was on the phone with her ex?  Who knows, because I sure as hell don't.  She won't tell me, and I can't force anything out of the girl.  She really doesn't understand how much I really do love her and care about her.  Perhaps she will never come to terms with how much I do love her.  Who knows.  All I know is that I can't live without her in my life.  She is my second half and completes all that is Joel.  Living without her in my life would be impossible.  Baby...I love you

So, it's been a little while since I last posted a real update on this fucking thing.  Guess the time has come.  I went and got my second tattoo yesterday.  It came out looking pretty fucking bad ass.  It's a scarecrow.  I'm gonna make my whole right shoulder a tribute to Halloween, only because it's the greatest day of the year.  I'm gonna get a little pumpkin patch at the bottom of the scarecrow, a black cat sitting atop one of the pumpkins, maybe a witch flying around in the backround.  All I know is it'll look completely wicked when it's all said and done. 

Not much is going on, not much at all.  I'm done with school so there's nothing to do during the day.  I've been out looking for a job for a while now, no luck though.  Fucking Florida, there's no job opening's anywhere and it blows goats. 

Things with Kerri are going pretty well for the most part.  I mean, we do fight an shit, but it's normal in a relationship.  We don't talk as much as we'd both like, and I know Kerri...it's my fault.  Believe it or not, I DO enjoying talking to you and I'm very sorry that we don't talk as often as we'd both like. 

I'm a very blunt and honest person.  I tell it how it is every single time.  I don't beat around the bush.  Most of the time though, people see this about me and see it as me being a prick or an asshole.  Like, take this girl Caitlin that I know who's friends with my cousin.  She asked me the other day why I don't like her.  So I told her flat out that she's an annoying little bitch and whenever she's around I wanna slap the shit out of her.  People need to take my comments for what they are.  I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm just trying to be honest with people.  If it makes me an asshole, then oh well.  Guess I'm an asshole.  Umm.......yeah, can't think of anything else to write.  So untill next time........

"You're in my heart, 3,000 miles away."